Dear Dad:
I heard a guy on a sports talk radio station the other day speaking in a disparaging manner about The Sound of Music. Screw him. You liked it, I liked it, and my family likes it today. You can be a macho man and still like musicals. In fact, I still find myself humming some of the songs to myself from time to time. I always liked My Favorite Things. Now Dad, you weren't real big about talking to me or asking me how my day went. In fact, if I added up all the conversations you started, it would probably be equal to the number of Republican congressman that will invite Barack to their kid's bar mitzvah.
Oh, I forgot. You already passed before he came into prominence. Well, it's a heckuva thing to have a Kenyan as President. I know, I know, I'll stop. It's a joke, Dad. But you wouldn't believe how politics piss people off today, Dad. It's all most people do, Pops. Argue about politics. Even in Sunday School. We don't have a real leader who would tell all the political hacks to shut their traps. Nope, we can start talking about the miracles of Jesus and before you know it, we'll be talking about Joe *&%$#$@$% Biden and his latest nonsensical moment. But you know what? Nobody ever does anything about it. We all just sit there, polishing the chair with our rear ends and posting %$#@ on the internet, and then we feel cool when all our "friends" agree with us. It's self-esteem building, Dad. Yeah, I know you never worried about the internet or about your self esteem. You were too busy worrying about other people and making sure they had everything taken care of. You know what, Dad. You had it right.
Now where was I, before I got distracted. Oh. I think I want to tell you my favorite things. You never asked me what I liked to do, so I figured you're up in heaven and you must be halfway omnipotent, even though you're praising Jesus twenty-four/seven, you might still have a few minutes to listen to my rant. So here it goes.
I like Christian worship music, but only when it's a girl or a guy and a guitar. No fancy stuff. It pollutes the song too much. Nothing worse than some dude primping after a guitar solo right in the middle of Our God Is An Awesome God. I like going out and getting doughnuts on Sunday morning. I like watching my kids eat 'em too. I like to cook Italian food, which seems to go quite well with red and white wines of all types. I like watching my wife work in the mission field and read her Bible. I like watching her teach our kids and pray and talk on the phone. I like walking around our neighborhood together. You know what, Dad. I just like being with my wife! I like fast cars, but I haven't had one in a long time. I like pickup trucks and cool breezes and country roads and driving with nowhere to go. I love nuke power plants, not so much for the technology or the economics, but just because I've spent the last twenty-five years surrounded by the smart, patriotic, strategic, passionate guys who love what they do. I like taking a nap after church or watching a football game. I like preaching. Isn't that hilarious? Who in the *&$# would ever want to listen to me? Even those intellectual Minnesotans let me preach up there. I think it was just because they needed a little Southern hospitality once in awhile, to break the chill. I like bicycles and parks and ice cream and barbecue and Mexican food. But not the Minnesota kind. I'd rather eat radishes. I like playing music loud and I like telling jokes at dinner. I like helping around the house and sitting down in front of an air conditioner when its hot outside. I like cutting grass cause I feel satisfied when I'm done. I like the smell of gasoline on my hands. I like leading a Bible study and I like it when I teach kids and the light bulb comes on. Know what I mean? I like having a little money in the bank, but I like giving it away more...I think. I like being in foreign countries, but I always worry about the water. I like hitting a seven-iron flush but I haven't played golf in ten years. I like reading the paper, and I like liberal writers and conservative too. I like reading the Bible, and I like the book of Romans most of all. I like Andy Stanley, he's Charles Stanley's kid. He's kind of an attention seeking rich guy, but he's the best speaker I've ever heard.
You see, Dad, it's a heckuva thing. I kind of like most of the same stuff you liked. I guess I'm like you, although it took me a long time to admit it. Except I didn't have my life interrupted by a damn war, and killing and mayhem and being frightened so much you peed in your pants. I missed all of that, Dad, and I guess I'm better for it. But sometimes, I'm not so sure.
Anyway, enjoy those services up there, Pops. But don't sing too loud, because your voice ain't that good.
Until next time,
Bill
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